<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>I love you by Riyusama</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27973897">I love you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riyusama/pseuds/Riyusama'>Riyusama</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>If it's not you [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Buzzfeed: Worth It (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Sad Ending, Song fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:01:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,376</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27973897</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riyusama/pseuds/Riyusama</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>She’s perfect in every way and she loves him. She thinks Andrew had put the moon and stars in the night sky for her to admire, and understands, and is patient with him.</p><p>She loves him with all her heart.</p><p>But, she’s not Steven.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Andrew Ilnyckyj/Steven Lim</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>If it's not you [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2048843</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I love you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic was inspired by the song Kung 'Di Rin Lang Ikaw by December Avenue. A rough translation is "If it's not you"</p><p>Here's a link to the song and music video for more FEELS: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1pwbnzbe7g&amp;ab_channel=TOWERofDOOM">LINK</a></p><p>Here's a link to one with English subtitles: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0Rpv07SXJg&amp;ab_channel=noypibeats">LINK</a></p><p>Enjoy ehehhehe</p><p>PS: reblog the post at <a href="https://riyusama.tumblr.com/post/637022874038943744/if-its-not-you-if-were-not-meant-to-be-together">tumblr</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>If it's not you</strong>
</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>If we’re not meant to be together<br/>
I’ll stop myself from loving again<br/>
If we’re not meant to be together<br/>
Will I stop my heart from loving you?</p>
  <p>Lost and looking out into the horizon<br/>
This heart won’t stop choosing you</p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s perfect in every way and she loves him. She thinks Andrew had put the moon and stars in the night sky for her to admire, and understands, and is patient with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She loves him with all her heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, she’s not Steven.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, what about the cake at Bottega Louis? You can never go wrong with it!” Steven suggests as they’re sifting through a couple of options.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew turns, loving the idea only because it’s Steven’s and he knows how fond the other is of the shop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I like it but it’s not really us,” Andrew tells him because Bottega Louis is </span>
  <em>
    <span>his and Steven</span>
  </em>
  <span>. That’s their go-to cake, that’s the cake that Steven loves, and Andrew, only in his dreams, could he ever buy a cake there for a wedding if it were for him and Steven.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Besides, too sweet,” He teases.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that sweet,” Steven replies back as they go back to checking cake stores. “You like vanilla and vanilla is sweet,” Steven tells him fondly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a look in the azuret’s face that makes Andrew want to cherish him, makes him want to hold and kiss him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he stops himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew stops himself because that’s not what best friends who are engaged do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but she wants a cheesecake type of wedding cake instead,” Andrew tells him and it’s fine, Andrew doesn’t mind at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, Steven is here to help you get through all of that sugar rush,” The azuret assures him with a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew smiles. “Yeah, I’ll let you do the taste testing instead.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>---------------------------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steven is helping him pick out a tux, Andrew wants something classic. Just a black jacket with slacks, nothing too flashy or boring. Just something that’s going to get him through the wedding without looking like he wasn’t forcing himself through it all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about this one?” Steven suggests and Andrew looks at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steven is holding up a coat with a long-tail behind it, it’s sleek and seems to have a vibrant design about it, he thinks it’s maybe a pattern of the sort, It’s dark and accentuates the lighter colour of black on its collar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s beautiful and looks amazing, definitely something that Steven will pick out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who’s getting married? Me or you?” Andrew inquires playfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It would look so good on you though!” Steven says as he comes closer, pushing the coat to Andrew and checking it out on the blond. “You’d look handsome in it, like a Disney prince or something.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew’s heart skips a beat at that and he has to chastise himself for falling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A Disney prince? Really?” Andrew rolls his eyes at the comment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A prince then!” Steven rushes to correct as he pushes further for the coat. “Come on! Just try it on!” Steven pleads and Andrew is so weak for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can never resist his best friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would I ever let you down?” Steven persuades. “You can trust your best man.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Andrew snatches the coat begrudgingly, making it look as though he was doing it against his will. “But, I’m just trying it on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course!” Steven chirps up, obviously pleased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew is just happy to see him smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>---------------------------------------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re sending wedding invitations? Isn’t the bride supposed to be the one who’s all up and excited about these kinds of things?”  Steven inquires as they’re looking through different cards, envelopes, and letters styles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew shrugs. “She’s busy, she’s working on her promotion and I told her I’ll pick my top three then, we can pick together.” The blond inspects one of the letters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It smells faintly like lavender and Andrew likes the smooth touch of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, the paper then envelope right?” Steven asks as he chooses between two of them that he’s holding in his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two of them had been spending too much time together planning Andrew’s own wedding and Andrew… Andrew’s a weak man to Steven who’s always offering his helping hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wants to move on, wants to be able to love his fiance the way she deserves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he looks at Steven and Andrew can’t say no.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like this one,” Steven says as he hands one envelope style to Andrew. “ What do you think?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It almost as if they’re planning for their own wedding instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like it,” Andrew tells him with a smile, looking down on the envelope with fondness. He loves everything that Steven chooses for him. “I’ll add this to the list.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>---------------------------------------------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s at the altar, she smiles at him and cries and says “I do,”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew says “I do,” as well and seals it with a kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s married.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yet, his eyes still linger to gaze over to his best man Steven and he can see the azuret cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s happy for Andrew.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But there’s something in Steven’s eyes that Andrew can’t pinpoint exactly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a look of pain in the way he gazes at Andrew.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew closes his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He needs to stop imagining things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>----------------------------------------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have fun guys,”  Steven tells the married couple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew is a bit drunk, having drunk too much champagne. Steven had helped him get in the car he and his wife will be taking to their house. Andrew clings to him and the smell of alcohol is strong. Steven wonders if Andrew will be alright.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, give me a minute,” Andrew’s wife tells them as she goes to say good-bye to her parents.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, take it easy,” Steven says as he leans down to his best friend, checking to see if Andrew was still lucid enough for their ride. “You got carried away with your drinks, never saw you do that before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just happy,” Andrew tells him, a smile on his lips and Steven can’t help the gnawing ache he feels in his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m happy for you too,” Steven says and as he moves to leave, Andrew suddenly grabs a hold of his arm. Steven looks at him puzzled, arching a brow up in question. “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you really?” Andrew asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Am I really what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Happy. Are you really happy for me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steven smiles and it’s pained. He only hopes that Andrew doesn’t notice. “Of course,” Steven goes back down and hugs the blond. “I’m always happy for you,”  He whispers. “You’re my best friend.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew wraps an arm around his back and Steven has to let go before he ends up crying. “Your wife’s back,” Steven comments and he lets her inside the car. “Bye guys, congratulations.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>---------------------------------------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steven is back at his hotel room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The wedding is over as well as the reception. He takes off his jacket and rests his back against the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, his knees give out until Steven is sitting down on the floor. His hands are covering his lips as the tears spill from his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Steven confesses and he can’t stop himself from sobbing, from letting the tears flow, from letting his breath hitch, for being so unhappy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” He apologizes over and over again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because how could he ever be happy?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the man he loves is now married. When his best friend is happy and Steven is here crying about how much it hurts him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How could Steven be happy when the pain and guilt are eating him up?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” He continues.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wishes all the happiness and congratulations he told Andrew earlier were true and real.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it’s not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How could he ever be happy when he never even got a chance to tell Andrew how much he loves him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How could he wish for happiness when it hurt him so much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He says to the empty room, like the many times he had uttered it so recently, but never to the person, he wants to hear it the most. And he cries harder, letting all the pain spill.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was time he let go of it all anyways.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew was never his to begin with.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So this one, I just wanted one where Andrew gets married and Steven is the one crying. I suck at writing Steven tbh lmao my self-projection is always on Andrew so this one isn't as well-written as the other XD</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>